I remember the diagnosis: alcohol addiction. My drinking had changed my brain and body chemistry. I made the hard decision to get professional alcohol addiction treatment. But I did not know what to expect, and I wasn’t sure about the medication prescribed for my cravings and other withdrawal symptoms.
I didn’t want to take the pill.
I remember holding it in my hand, heart racing, stomach tight. This little thing was supposed to help me stop drinking? All I could think was: What if it changes me? What if I lose something important?
If you’re newly diagnosed and scared to take medication as part of your alcohol addiction treatment, I want to say this: I get it. Really. I’ve been where you are. And it didn’t make me less me. It helped me find the version I’d been trying to claw my way back to for years.
Learn more about behavioral health services in New Jersey. Archangel Centers offers treatment for substance use disorders, mental health conditions, or both. If you’re just starting this process and want to explore what support actually looks like, reach out today.
I Thought Medication Meant I Had Failed
Somewhere deep down, I believed taking medication meant I couldn’t do this on my own. That I was weak. That I hadn’t tried hard enough. And even worse? I worried people would see me as “on something” again; I’d fought so hard not to be “that person” anymore.
No one told me that using medication for alcohol addiction treatment isn’t about weakness. It’s about giving your brain a fighting chance to heal. The same way we use crutches to walk on a broken leg, some of us need medical help to let our minds reset.
I Was Afraid It Would Dull Me
This was the real fear: that medication would make me feel numb. Or robotic. Or not creative anymore. Alcohol, for all the destruction it caused, had been part of how I laughed, connected, and even created.
I thought I’d lose the parts of me that still worked.
But what actually happened was quieter than I expected. The medication didn’t numb me; it steadied me. The cravings, that gnawing, hungry voice in the back of my mind, got quieter. And when it did? I got louder. My voice. My ideas. My focus. My rest.
Turns out, I’d been muted for years, and recovery brought me back into color.
My Recovery Didn’t Look Like Anybody Else’s
I didn’t go to treatment and come out shouting from the rooftops. I didn’t become a speaker or a 12-step warrior. I took my meds. I went to therapy. I skipped parties for a while. I had messy days.
But I stayed sober.
You don’t have to match anyone else’s version of recovery. Especially not the loud, inspirational ones. Quiet recovery is still recovery. Using medication doesn’t make it fake. You’re not less “sober” because you took what your brain needed to survive.
I Still Had a Choice, Every Day
Medication didn’t do the work for me. It just made the work possible.
I still had to choose not to drink. I still had to figure out how to sit with feelings, how to apologize, how to rebuild trust. But I was doing it from a steadier place and not the chaotic cliff edge I used to live on.
It didn’t make it easy. It made it doable.
And sometimes, when your life feels like it’s burning down, doable is a miracle.
What Finally Helped Me Say Yes to Medication?
Honestly? It was a moment in my kitchen, alone, when I realized I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want to live like this either. I needed to try something different.
Not forever. Just for now.
That first step of saying yes to help, even if I wasn’t sure it would work, was the beginning of everything else. And no, I didn’t lose myself. I found myself. Slowly, and on my own terms.
I’m Scared, Not Broken
Fear means you still care. That some part of you still wants to live, to love, to be whole.
So if you’re sitting with that same pill in your hand and hesitating, know this: You get to be scared. You get to question. But you also get to try.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
Ready to Make a Change? Call the Folks Who Helped Me
If you’re even thinking about getting help, call the people who helped me start fresh. Archangel Centers doesn’t treat you like a label or a lost cause—they meet you where you are, with real options that actually make sense.
They’ve got two locations in New Jersey: East Windsor Central Center in Tinton Falls Wherever you are in the state, or in your recovery journey, you’re not too far to start.
Call (888) 464-6182 or visit them online to check out their alcohol addiction treatment programs.
This isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping you come back to yourself.