When someone you love enters a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) for addiction or mental health treatment, it can bring up a lot of emotions—hope, fear, relief, anxiety. You might feel encouraged that they’re seeking help, but also uncertain about what comes next. How do you support them without enabling? How do you protect your own well-being while still being present for their recovery journey?
At Archangel Centers in New Jersey, we’re here to help you learn the basics of PHP, how to set realistic expectations, and how to navigate your role as a loved one.
What is a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP)?
PHP is a structured, intensive treatment program that provides clinical support and medical management while allowing patients to leave campus and return to provided-living facilities at the end of the day. It is often a step down from inpatient care or a step up from outpatient treatment, offering a critical middle ground between 24/7 care and full independence.
At Archangel Centers in New Jersey, our PHP program includes:
- Individual and group therapy
- Medication management
- Behavioral health education
- Skills-building workshops
- Relapse prevention planning
- Support for co-occurring mental health conditions
PHP allows a person to begin integrating recovery into real life while still benefiting from professional oversight and peer support. [Note: this transition to “real life” is expanded on even further in IOP.]
What to Expect from a Loved One in PHP
Recovery is a process, and being part of a PHP program doesn’t mean your loved one will immediately transform into a different person. Here’s what you can realistically expect:
- Commitment to Treatment: They will spend several hours a day in structured programming, working on their recovery.
- Emotional Highs and Lows: Therapy can bring up painful emotions. Some days they may seem motivated and want to talk your ear off. Other days they may seem withdrawn and not want to share.
- Small but Meaningful Changes: Over time, you might notice small shifts—better communication, more self-awareness, healthier coping mechanisms.
- Honest but Difficult Conversations: They may start setting boundaries, admitting past mistakes, or expressing needs they’ve never voiced before.
A mother of a recovering alcoholic shared with us, “I knew my daughter was getting better because for the first time in years, we fought. She was well enough, present enough, cared enough – whatever it was – to actually argue with me.”
Each person is different. You know your loved one better than anyone else. As they progress in their recovery, you might see sides of them you haven’t seen in years. This could be refreshing or worrisome. Try not to judge these early recovery moments or your responses to them too harshly. There’s a lot of healing happening on both sides of the relationship.
What Shouldn’t I Expect from a Loved One in PHP?
It’s just as important to understand what not to expect, so you can avoid frustration and disappointment:
- Instant Change: PHP is a stepping stone, not a cure. Recovery is gradual and non-linear.
- A Fix for Everything: While PHP provides tools, your loved one still has to do the hard work of applying them.
- No More Mistakes: Expect progress, not perfection. Recovery includes missteps, and learning from them is part of the process.
- Constant Gratitude: While they may appreciate your support, they are likely focused on their own internal struggles. They also might not be ready to look at how their addiction or mental health has affected you. On the other hand, they may suddenly become acutely aware of the pain they caused you. There is no normal at this stage in recovery.
How Can I Support My Loved One?
The best way to support someone in PHP is to encourage their recovery without taking responsibility for it. Here are some practical ways to help:
- Educate Yourself: Learn about addiction, mental health, and the recovery process so you can offer informed support.
- Respect Their Boundaries: They may need space, or they may want to share. Let them set the pace.
- Encourage Without Pressure: Remind them you believe in their ability to heal, but avoid pushing them to be “better” on your timeline.
- Take Care of Yourself: Attend Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, or other support groups for families and loved ones. Your well-being matters just as much as your loved one’s well being.
How Do I Protect Myself from Disappointment If My Loved One Relapses?
Addiction is insidious. Many people require multiple attempts before achieving lasting recovery. If your loved one relapses, it doesn’t mean they have failed permanently—it means they need more support, time, or a different approach.
- Remember: You Didn’t Cause This, and You Can’t Cure It. Their recovery is their responsibility, not yours.
- Set Healthy Boundaries: You can love and support them without allowing destructive behaviors to impact your life.
- Detach with Love: Love them enough to let them walk their own path, even when it’s painful to watch.
- Seek Support for Yourself: Just as your loved one needs help, so do you. Lean on friends, therapy, or support groups to process your emotions.
We’re here for you.
Watching someone you care about go through recovery can be challenging, but it can also be a time of hope and healing. Support them with love, patience, and realistic expectations. And most importantly, take care of yourself along the way.
If your loved one is in need of PHP treatment, or if you need guidance on how to navigate this journey, reach out to a team member at Archangel Centers today. Help is available—for them, and for you.
